For a mutually fulfilling courtship, it is imperative that all parties maintain proper perspective and avoid idealism.
If you profess to love someone, self-analysis and patience will reveal whether you truly love the person as the person is, or the idealized image you have of the person. Do you love the person’s dreams, ideas, emotions? Do you love the life the person is living? Do you love the path the person has chosen, and how the person has chosen to travel it? Do you understand and agree with the choices the person has made, is making and will make? All these are symptoms of the nature of the person you profess to love.
Or do you simply want a snapshot of the person to put on a mantle and admire at your convenience because it fits your narrative? If the snapshot is all you have, you may find yourself disappointed and feel betrayed when reality contradicts this interpretation of yours.
If you are not heading in the same direction, why would you walk together?